Monday, July 18, 2016

"Look out. Cleveland"

Live from the banks of the flaming Cuyahoga River, it's The Dick Times: News that Bites! Only hours to go before the dregs of the GOP assemble to re enact an all white version of The Walking Dead! While most heavy hitters stay home ( Dub phoned in with a hangover ) , a few well- known clowns will pile out of a 1960 Beattle and honk their horns for Jesus as red balloons release orange popcorn that sticks to your hair. Soon, the new mental disorder, Trumpence, will emerge from a flaming test tube and infect the crowd with hopeless optimism.
Speaker after speaker will then begin a long march to Oz, ultimately revealing that there's nothing behind the curtain but a large robotic mouth that speaks in incomplete sentences as it promises walls, dead Muslims, and imprisoned abortion providers.
These boasts will please the assembled imbeciles, and they will vote unanimously to fall on their Boy Scout knives in a gesture of medieval self-sacrifice, all for the sake of a bankrupt real estate developer who left the car running at the back door. Dick sez: I'll trade you my Marvin gardens for a get out of jail free card.

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