Disconnect at the cannon fodder farm

The Dick Times: News that Bites!
Dateline the stump, 20 October

Disconnect at the Cannon Fodder Farm!

Bush protects U.S. from terror!
No planes hijacked in last three years!
No Iowa cornfields set afire
No Indiana bank’s been hit by bombs
No Pennsylvania farmland laid with mines!

And when a high school football star
is killed abroad
the town square church’s bell is rung
and flags drawn down to hang half-mast
and hymns are sung.

And when the moms of military amputees
regret, when interviewed,
the sacrifice,
they then go on to say
that Bush is nice.

Dick sez: America, America,
god turns his face from thee,
when lying fools
and simple tools
still get thy loyalty.

And! Hot new feature! The Dick Poll!
The Dick Times has just polled thousands
of ordinary people, all voters, folks just like you,
on today’s really big issues! Here’s the first batch!

Q. Was Kerry gay bashing when he referred to
Cheney’s daughter in the last debate?
A. Most people don’t know who Gay is.

Q. Should gay bashing be a hate crime?
A. Most people say they hated crime.

Q. What was the Bush stance in the Matthew Shepherd case?
A. Most people thought that all Texans hated shepherds but
that it shouldn’t be a crime.

Q. What about that Dutch kid who stuck his finger in the dike?
A. Most people thought that since Ron Reagan was a hedonist
homosexual stem cell murdering ballet dancer it really didn’t matter what he did-
straight to hell in a hand basket and be damned!

And so it goes with some of the folks who might determine
the winner of this November’s election.

Bush In Boots

Dick Times Nursery Rhymes and Verses!

The Dick Times: News that Bites!

Bush in Boots

Pussy cavalier smears war hero
as Rome burns,
apes role of Nero
playing second fiddle to Cheney,

belittles his brainier betters,
butters up far right fanatics
and batters semantics
as he frantically gropes his way
to four more years!

His radical vision: bible fused
with constitution,
recanting Democrats
all granted absolution!

Dick sez: bless me Dubya,
for I have sinned-
I want you outed,
you want inned.

And! Dick’s amazing bible prophecies, part two!
We turn first to the Book of Job, KJV

2/26 Do ye imagine to reprove words,
and the speeches of one that is desperate,
which are as wind? ( Dick’s mission is foreseen )

14/20 Then prevailest for ever against him
and he passeth. ( Kerry kicks butt! )

7/21 Now I shall sleep in the dust.
( George goes back to Texas )

15/34 For the congregation of hypocrites
shall be desolate, and fire shall consume
the tabernacles of bribery.
( Dub’s country club conservative pals
must now reconfigure their contribution strategies )

7/11 Therefore I will not refrain my mouth.
( Dick stays in business through the Kerry / Edwards term )

And! Some final Revelations!
22/6 These sayings are faithful and true.
22/7 Blessed is he that keepeth the sayings
and prophecy of this book.
Amen, brother!