Dick Times News Flash!!!

The Dick Times: News that Bites!
Late breaking news flash!!!
16 December 04
The Times has just learned that George Bush
is about to plead guilty to everything and
enter the Witless Protection program!
Insiders leak plan to reduce relocation
and disguise expenses by spraying the President
with artificial " Hair in a Can" and integrating him
into the chimp colony of Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo's
new primate habitat.
When viewing this exhibit please observe the zoo's
"Do not feed" policy.

Medal of Dishonor

The Dick Times: News that Bites!
Dateline Neverland East, December 1984

President George orWell Bush
pushes way beyond lost credibility
while decorating guys
with no ability
to win his war!

Medals hung on necks of terrorist creators
remind the cynical of nooses
looped on traitors!

But Bush can do no wrong
with rabid throngs of Red Mob
in his thrall
as they’re out Christmas shopping
at the mall.

They may be looking for
some new prosthetics for their kids,
the ones not getting draped with ribbons
by The Chief:
to Dick, the thief of reason, wisdom,
and the truth,
a witless pestilence
too dense or vile
to reprove
his hateful henchmen.

And! The Diquiz!
Your choice for the next
Czar of Homeland Security:
Gomer Pyle
Homer Simpson
Butthead
Inspector Clouseau
Barney Fife
Since the office is obviously an empty
symbol of macho incompetence, what
difference could it make?