Wednesday, December 02, 2015

My kind of town, Chicago is

Dateline Chicago 2 December, year of the rats. From the desk of the Dick Times, news of corruption, deception, deflection and induction into the Hall of Infamous, all of it RIPPED FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES! 
    Top cop drops first shoe and ranks of Rahmulans sag under blow thrown by Black Friday protesters  who molest Mag Mile shops as sales flop to new lows! SECOND SHOE due to fall if Alvares goes "I quit" in fit of fear! Long reviled State's Attorney should take long journey on tar-dipped rail!
Dick sez: I fail to see the humor in this, but I'm pissed as another layer of dirt falls from mayor's shirt.  
AND!! The Dick Quiz!! Match the players!
         A. Garry McCarthy
         B. Anita Alvarez
         C. Toni Preckwinkle
         D. David Orr
         E. Clem Balanoff
         F. Dorothy Brown

         !.  Cook County Board President and recent critic of this mess ( yesterday )
         2. Cook County State's Attorney
         3. Clerk of the Circuit Court
         4. Cook County Clerk
         5. Chicago Police Superintendent
         6. Dick's upstairs neighbor and ersrtwhile  David Orr
             staffer who has just flown to Egypt to monitor elections.

              QUIZ PRIMER for dimmer readers:
 Sixteen-gate: Dick's name for the year long cover up of sixteen shots fired into the prostrate body of  a fleeing youth.
Garry McCarthy: Chicago's former Police Superintendent, now mildly discredited and out of work.
Anita Alvarez:  Cook County State's Attorney, long a feared foe of poorly defended perps who fell into her wicked web.
Dorothy Brown: Clerk of the Circuit Court who charges her staff a fee for wearing jeans to work. She also charges them up to $1,500 for their jobs, sort of an application fee. Some might consider these "bribes", but we don't jump to conclusions until the trap door falls and the body swings.
Clem Balanoff: Some guy: it's no big deal.
David Orr: Long time local bureaucrat who asked Clem to take in his friend's dog for a few weeks, being unable himself to fulfill the request. This third level degree resulted in a dog upstairs, but it didn't bark,  Dick slumbered peacefully and Mr. Orr was spared a starring role in a Dick Times attack.
Toni Preckwinkle, Cook County Board President, whatever the hell that is. It sounds real bad ass and has frequently been the seat of far reaching rot.
Mag Mile-The long strip of North Michigan Avenue that pulls in shoppers from around the globe.  Major retailers crowd the street with their flagship stores.
Tar-dipped rail (you're really not well read, are you?) : A means of transportation used by mad mobs to expel beyond the gates  any unwanted miscreant. The latter was often tar dipped, too, and then feathered, as you may have surmised by now. clever reader.
Rahmulans: The Mayor's crew of appointees and supporters whose name derives from an alien race on the long-forgotten tv show, Star Trek. It must have been a sci fi thing. Now we all watch twitter between texts.  

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