DICK'S APRIL DIGEST!!!

The Dick Times News Digest!
Biting excerpts from recent stories!
Dateline Chicago and this ain’t April fools, folks!
It’s still The Year of Viagra!

Gingrich reaches out to Rome!
Leaves long term Baptist home!
Embraces Papist ways!
“My days are numbered,” Newt must think,
“Got to play it safe and drink the bitter cup:
a priest’s communion wine!”
(Baptists are just fine
with drinking grape juice at the rail.)

And!! House of Boehners fail
to turn back tide of
Democratic nominations!
“Abominations!” cries the miniscule Red Horde
as Prez decides that libs have won their turn to serve,
and new appointees have the nerve to ask for seats!

Republicans are left with making “sucking teats” remarks
while whining that the left is nothing but a sea
of greedy sharks.

And!!! Bracko faces European test
to see if wife competes
with best dressed women there!
Visit to the Euro lands ramps up a
propaganda wave, and many crave a look
at this new guy!

And!! The Diquiz!!
Where does your state rank on the growing list
of “most corrupt”?
Don’t we all feel a little thrill of pride when
our own climbs closer to the top of that ladder?

The BeneDicktion:
Do not allow us to grow madder
at the current state of things down here,
but give us hope, that having rid the country
of that evil dope, the Dubster, his remaining pals
will not continue to assail our noble dream,
the Constitution.
Amen, Ahhhhhhh Women!